Just my opinion

It’s so easy casting stones and passing judgment when we do so through social media. Making one mistake, enhanced and further magnified by comments taken out of context, word-of-mouth that spreads like telephone where each time you hear the story it becomes less and less of the truth… simple mistakes, growing pains and ignorant minds trying to become knowledgeable turn into the enemy, and before you know it someone’s life is ruined. There is a certain sense of anonymity when one makes proclamations from behind the screen and opinions get shared as if they are truths. Technologically speaking we are advanced, emotionally however we lag behind… we feel justified speaking our minds and hiding behind the same screens we silently and not so silently judge everyone around us by. We are a society that claims to be tolerant and accepting, when in reality we convict others without a second thought. We become each other’s judge, jury, and executioner’s all because of social media and the platform it gives us to speak to the world. Just because you have the platform doesn’t mean you are correct, nor does it mean you have the power to control others. Information spreads like wildfire, sometimes that information is correct and sometimes that information is vastly misguided but nonetheless it spreads, it changes, and it ruins people’s lives.

We are a country where we are held to higher standards, or at least we should be, but we judge people without knowing all the details, and then rationalize the decisions we make because “it’s my opinion.” Before social media and the instant gratification that the Internet provides us, saying that something is your opinion was simply just that… your opinion. But now when you share your opinion, that opinion gets shared, reposted, shared some more, liked and retweeted as though it were fact. Many people’s lives are ruined by others opinions when it simply would have been easier and more productive by seeking out basic information or taking a moment to educate someone on topics that they are either misguided on or simply ignorant. There are very few times where you have the opportunity to educate a mind and a true insincere fashion and actually make a change, yet social media allows us to make snap judgments without any of the constraints that a logical conversation would have. It is true sometimes people don’t want to be educated, it is also true that sometimes people don’t want to educate but that in no way shape or form should stop us from taking a moment out of our day to seriously have a conversation with someone who doesn’t quite understand “your opinion.”

The greatest treasure we have in this world is the blessing of friendship and unconditional love and unfortunately both while being in high demand are scarce in this new world of Internet anonymity and a society that is quick to judge. What we need now are people willing to listen to each other, educate, and provide alternative sounding boards as a way to become a better society. Unfortunately what we have right now are people who make judgment calls as though they are fact and then offer no compassion or understanding that could otherwise lead to more commonalities than there are differences between us. The world is full of shades of gray and very rarely is anything ever truly black or white yet we continue to judge others not by how we would want to be judged but on quick misguided notions that lack any sincere clarity. We have all made mistakes and we will all continue to make mistakes that is one of the most fundamental truths of reality but forgiveness used to be something practiced on a daily basis, we used to forgive others especially if they tried hard to see the other side of the story or realize that the differences aren’t  quite so large as once believed… so many times have we forgiven and moved on and become better for it, but now once judgment is passed there is little forgiveness ever granted and that is how society is dooming itself. Instead of becoming a better collective we are creating more differences, then we are similarities.

People should still be allowed to have their opinions, they should still be allowed to express those opinions, but somewhere along the way someone made it a crime to have an opinion unless of course it was a shared opinion with other people. We claim to be tolerant and accepting of others but in reality that tolerance and acceptance ends if you feel differently than the majority. If you share an opinion that does not mix with the general crowd you are no longer accepted. Our society has turned into hypocrisy, and we have seriously lost our independent thinking. We no longer step outside of our boxes and see what the world through different eyes, we don’t exercise critical thinking and we don’t challenge our minds by having sincere conversations with others that we don’t always share the same opinion with. Some of my best friends historically have been those I shared very little in common with and I was better for it. They are people that I could have real deep conversations with about things from socioeconomic status to Christianity and everything in between and know that I could share an opinion that at the time I thought may have been fact but after intense conversations and getting to know one another my opinion changed, or their opinion changed, or we realize none of us had any idea what we were talking about. We just knew we were passionate about something and we wanted to be heard. I have very few friendships like that anymore, people get offended, and just don’t take the time to sit down and listen and talk and listen some more.

Perhaps I am just nostalgic for the time when friendships were really friendships, and people went out of their way to create understanding and true acceptance. I have made many mistakes in my life, and I have learned from each and every one of them. Sometimes I’ve learned the lesson that I was supposed to, but sometimes I have learned the opposite. We’re not here to be perfect. We’re not here to have ongoing homeostasis. Challenges make us grow, differences make us stronger and forgiveness moves us forward. At each moment of our life we are doing the best we can, sometimes our best is really pretty dang good, and sometimes our best is horrible. None of us should judge another person on what our best is because their best is something completely different. Before you cast those stones, and before you believe your judgment to be fact… Consider a few simple things.

•            How do I want to be judged?

•            Have I ever made a mistake?

•            Do I absolutely know the truth from all sides?

•            Is this a teachable moment?

No matter what you believe after reading this post or if you have any opinion at all, just slow down long enough to think about what you want in this world. Because I guarantee we all want the same thing. Unconditional love, acceptance, and belonging. If your actions do not contribute to any of those three, perhaps you should reconsider your voice in social media. That’s something I’m still learning and trying to do.

Of course this is just my opinion.