For a great man...

Dear Fred,

I didn’t get you a card or a present, but thank you for my rocks. I know I said how much I adore and love you last night at your party, but I really want you to understand that I meant it with every fiber of my being. You have without a doubt been the best supervisor I have ever had the pleasure of working for. You have been supportive and helpful beyond measure and gone above and beyond the typical duties of a supervisor for not only me but the entire team. You have protected us to the best of your ability from upper management and taken the brunt of others attitudes and attacks about PACT. You believed in us when no one would give us a chance…

Speaking just on my own behalf, please know that you have a special place in my heart both personally and professionally. You afforded me opportunities that others may not have been given. You trusted that I knew how to do my job and you let me do it. You didn’t micromanage me, and let me have the freedom to make my own mistakes…but more importantly, you were there to help me pick up the pieces and learn from those mistakes. Other supervisors would have been quick to punish and criticize and I appreciate that you have always been gentle with my feelings and when I needed you, you were always there.

It is truly a major loss for both the agency and PACT losing such an amazing man and supervisor, but huge kudos for your new employer. I am sorry that management did not appreciate you more and treat you better. (But I’m sorry they don’t treat any of us well.) You have invested so much into the program and each and every one of us…it does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I may never have a supervisor like you again, and I would be remiss if I let you go without making sure how much you mean to me. During my 4½ years here I have seen 44 people come and go and only cried when 3 have left. You are the 4^th. I will miss seeing you every day, hearing your stupid jokes and having you to go to when I need a shoulder to cry on.

I pray for you every morning and thank God (Universe) every day that you have been my boss. And I am truly happy that you are getting out of here before your soul withers and dies. I hope your new job is amazing and that you and your wife get more time together now that PACT isn’t a constant anchor. I wish you the best both personally and professionally and love you immensely. I already miss you so much…

With the utmost love and respect, deb

This weeks photos around town.

I don't want to post anything heavy or depressing tonight so I decided to post pictures from odd places around town or my yard. Nothing to crazy or super special, just things that caught my eye. The landscape is changing daily with the changing of the seasons, one day there could be just moss and grass and then the next day there blooms a flower. Which got me to thinking that just as in nature, we are all trying to climb our way out of the dirt to bask in the sun and show the world all our glory. A tired cliche I know but nonetheless relevant.

Happy birthday mom

Took mom out for dinner to Red Lobster, an annual tradition we do for our birthdays. Had some amazing food and super yummy drinks. We were even treated to some free ice cream with a candle so we could make a wish. I have no idea what mom wished for and I can't say what I wished for because then it won't come true. I love spending quality time with my mom, she is my best friend and I love and cherish her more than anyone in the world. I hope to someday be half as good a person as she is. The moon was out and looking all kinds if pretty and I had to snap a picture before leaving the restaurant.

Happy birthday mom, I love you so very much.

For my birthday

I was super tired this morning at the thought of going to work but I ended up having a really good day. Mom brought me a birthday cake and work sang to me. Monique and our imaginary child herald gave me Legos. I got free tickets to watch an indoor football game, it just happened to be the first game of the first year of the Everett raptors. Then I had to hurry to jet city scrimmage and I always have a wonderful time there. Lots of derby girls wished me a happy birthday and Marilyn Gun Hoe gave me some wrestling figure guys from the WWE match she and Grr Rawr Rawr went to.
Now I'm home and busily packing to go to the wild West showdown to show love and support to my beloved jet city rollergirls. But I'm really looking forward to spending three days with my girlfriend. All in all today was a pretty damn good day.

Around work

During my breaks at work today I wandered around my empty office building looking for things to take pictures of. I thought it would give me some good shots since the building is so old, I think it delivered just fine.

Latest pictures from life...

After work I like to drive down by the waterfront and look for graffiti on the train cars. Here are a few shots from the last few days plus some other miscellaneous pictures of things I thought were interesting.

Endless Chatter...

It's been two months now since I had my sinus surgery...I have yet to feel even close to what I had hoped would be normal. My right eye still makes squishy sounds and feels like it is going to be sucked into my head. The area behind my eyes burn like my "face plate" has been taken off, giant globs of icyhot have been shoved into the spaces and then my "face plate" put back on. On a good day, it only feels like someone took a bat to my face and shattered all my bones. Sigh. About a month ago I started really feeling sick, coughing and having a hard time just breathing. Finally managed to convince the surgeon that there was actually something wrong with me. He took a culture and turns out I have Strep Pneumonia. So for the last month I've been dealing with that and lingering affects of the surgery. The surgeon seems to think I picked up the germies at work...which doesn't surprise me given I work in a freaking petri dish. Homeless clients who are really sick, poorly cared for offices/bldg, and all the dirty hands and sputum make for a very disgusting enviornmnet for one to work in. (It puts working in middle schools to shame.) Right now the post nasal drip is killing my throat and making my ears hurt. I feel like the antibiotic just barely takes the edge off and the infection is still running rampant in my body. This ordeal has so far cost over $2,500. So now I start getting some special equipment delivered to provide a nasal antibiotic that I have mix and use twice a day. In case you have ever wondered what it looks like to have an antibiotic resiestant superbug...take a look at me. On the plus side, he tested me for MRSA and that came back negative. Whew.

I have missed the last two Jet City scrimmages, which sadens me greatly. I look forward to getting my NSO on and hanging out with the derby athletes. Regardless of sickness status, I am going to the third annual Wild West Showdown in Bremerton. Three days of derby...can't be missed. I'm not NSOing any bouts in that tournement because I want to just be a fan...AND I get to cheer on the Jet City Bombers...tick, tick, boom. My girlfriend will be joining me this year and it marks the first official getaway for us. The thought makes me happy, nervous, excited and anxious all at the same time. Totally booked us a king sized bed, which I have never been on...I have a feeling I could get addicted to the space. As for the derby aspect I am bummed that some of my favorite teams won't be there...Oly, Denver and Portland. But some new faces will be present and I'm hoping to see some good game play.

I've missed so much work over the last two months that I don't feel like I fit in anymore. So many changes, cut backs...I just don't feel in the groove anymore. I know it will change once I am back and get my routine established again. But I honestly worry that I may never get a routine again. There just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel...filled with mucus, congestion and sinus pain. Wow, what a wonderful picture I paint. Speaking of paint...I need to get my easel fixed so I can start painting again. I miss it. The feeling of just me, the canvas, paint and brush. I turn on my headphones...stare at the canvas and then the world just kind of disappears. It's nice. Not always relaxing but comforting. It's almost the same feeling I get when I'm doing yard work or mowing the lawn. Just me, the earth and my thoughts. For good or bad. There is just something soothing about zoning out the rest of the world. In fact, it's addicting. I almost get in that mind frame when I NSO...everything but what I'm doing, what is going on right in front of me just goes away. There's no crowd, no music, no external forces trying to bid for my attention. My mind focuses on my task and my task I do well.

I often wonder if the girls feels something like this when they are bouting...like the world just goes away? I've been meaning to ask them but I like to leave them alone on bout days and let them do whatever it is they need to mentally and physically prepare.

Well, this has been a most rambling of entries. I didn't have anything in mind when I sat down to write, just knew that it was time to get something said. No earth shaking "ah ha" moments tonight, just some thoughts that come and go with no restraint. I know I promise to write more, to be more consistant and then I don't follow through. I guess I feel like it doesn't really matter because no one reads my endless chatter about nothing. It's too bad though, sometimes I think if I can just get my thoughts out to an audience maybe something I have to say will touch a soul or change a life. But I'm not sure I'm destined for such greatness. No angel am I.