I've lost track of how long we've known each other, sometimes it feels like a lifetime. But only in a good way, you know. There's been a lot that has gone on both between us and around us, most of which we meander through without much thought because it's so routine at this point. Check in, check out, so and so is here to see you, how can I help with this, who is on my schedule, where am I going, oh yeah I called them back already...and the list goes on and on. And I know you hear me when I tell people "without her telling me what I'm doing and where I'm going, I would be lost. I can't even find my way home at this point." Yes, I joke about it, but I'm just making light of how incredibly lost I would actually be without you in my life. Not just in our professional roles, but personally. You've become a beacon of light, yes I understand that it sounds over melodramatic but it's true. You guide my everyday, you help me find ways to be better at what I do. You encourage me to be a better person. You elevate my expectations not only for myself but for those I interact with on a daily basis. No matter what is going on in your life, you always have a smile...I'm truly jealous of how kind, genuine, honest and caring you are in every aspect of life. With all that I am I could never be half as real as you are, seemingly without even trying.
Sorry I got a little off topic, though I'm not really sure that there is a specific topic for discussion aside from me wanting to make sure I tell you what I've been feeling/thinking for some time now. I fully realize that actions taken place a few years back damaged our relationship, a relationship that I have missed greatly and have truly felt lost without. Much like a puzzle piece that has been missing, I don't feel like a complete picture without you. Again, I'm a bit over melodramatic but I have no other way to convey how sincerely sorry I am for my mistakes, the confusion caused, the tears cried and the endless lonely walks down the hallway even when we were step in step. I have accepted my fate in this and will carry that burden the rest of my days and I also realize that our relationship will never be the same. My tears have dried over that, because I think we are forming a new relationship, and I'm hopeful that it will be better and perhaps stronger than the one I damaged. Much like a wrinkled up piece of paper, you can open it up and press the wrinkles down but it's still damaged but it can be something different. I'm not sure that's the best representation of my thoughts, but I'm confident that you will understand this when/if you ever read this. I guess what I'm saying is that I know we can't have the same relationship we had before, but I'm loving the new one that we have now.
It's amazing how comforting HOPE can be. And I have hope that this new relationship will be better and stronger than the last. I'm not sure what I did in this life to have someone like you in it, but I will work endlessly to express my gratitude for the second chance you've seen fit to grant me. I've missed you and I want nothing more than to repay all the guidance, help and care you have given me. I've tried writing you this letter multiple times over the last few months, and no matter how hard I try the words just don't carry the depths of my feelings.
You are without a doubt one of my most cherished friendships. Thank you, for you.
I love you.
Always.
Forever.
Infinity.
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