With a clear head...

I find myself slightly ashamed of my tirade that made up my last entry. I clearly was in a bad space, dealing with some feelings that I didn't know what to do with and drama from work. Not to say that I will never launch into another tirade again, just wanted to make note that I realize how harsh I was...but I think we all have that part inside of us that we keep hidden that could easily turn to the proverbial dark side. It will and has always been easier to take the dark path than to put in the work it takes to rise above the fray and gruel in this life. Much like water, it will always take the easiest path to the ocean. It would be easy to continue to be angry, in fact, I do it out of habit lately because right now it's easiest for me. But I realize that taking that path, is in the long run, an awful way to go...it will just leave me bitter and angry and alone. So after a brief time away from praying to forgive, I will again start over and give this burden to God and pray for the ability to forgive. I am after all, only human. With all it's weaknesses, frailties, and misgivings...I just try to do my best each day and sometimes my best isn't very good. In fact, sometimes by best is really, really bad. I own in, I own my feelings and mistakes. I really am just wandering in this life, trying to figure it out as I go and hope that at the end I can make some sense of it all.