River Rats

I think sometimes we underestimate our value to the world. We underestimate our presence in the lives of those around us. Yet with the flip of a coin we often take others in our lives for granted. We fail to see how our actions impact others, how our intentions are not always pure despite our best efforts. We cover our inadequacies with cheap filler hoping that the world won’t notice just how insecure we really are with ourselves. For some of us it doesn’t matter if we are alone or in a crowded room…we just feel awkward. 

We are the only species that can be in the middle of a crowded space and still feel so alone. We are the only species that is capable of evil intent, revenge, remorse and forgiveness. So different yet so much the same are we to each other…all the while pushing and pulling those around us based on what value we assign them. Do we know the impact that we have on each other, would we know what to look for even if we knew?

The homeless man on the corner with a sign that he fought in the war and needs money…do you give him your change? Or do you try and look busy in your car to avoid making eye contact…

The woman walking down the street talking to herself, agitated and screaming to no one…do you duck into a nearby shop until she passes so you don’t have to talk to her? Or do you cross the street so you don’t get attacked…

The couple next door to your house where there is yelling at all hours of the night and day…do you go over and check in? Or do you turn your tv up louder and think that you need thicker windows…

The girl who shows up to the skate deck and sits far away from all the action but looks like she wants to know more…do you go up and introduce yourself? Or do you stay with your team, your clique and pretend she isn’t there…

The league member who comes off all funny and gives 150% to the league but leaves events early…do you ask why? Or do you go about your own thing and give little notice to anyone missing…

The kid on the bus that yells and hits the other children on the bus…do you stop her, kick her off the bus? Or do you let it go on so you don’t get involved in the problem…

Sometimes we are so busy we don’t see what’s right in front of us. Including seeing what we can offer the world, the impact our actions have, the helpfulness we can bring to another person.Even if that person, is us.

So that homeless man, he lost his house when he went to serve in the war after 9/11 to ensure another attack didn’t happen on US soil. That woman walking down the street, she had a psychotic break when her daughter was still born. The couple next door, the wife beats her husband because…well it doesn’t matter why. The girl who shows up at the deck, maybe that took every ounce of her courage just to make it that far but she knows how to skate and could be the best jammer you’ve ever seen. The league member, maybe the league is all this person has and just wants to be accepted before they leave derby behind. The kid on the bus, maybe she’s beat every night, and that’s the only way she knows how to interact with others.

There are millions of reasons for the way we act and react to things. But if could just look outside of ourselves for just a second and think of someone else…imagine how much better the world could be. Imagine how much better the world would be if we believed in ourselves instead of letting the world dictate how we should feel about us.  Imagine how relationships would flourish if just communicated with one another with love and caring instead of questioning the motives of another or just plain pushing them away. Can you even envision any of that?

Over the fourth of July I went tubing with a group of league mates in Monroe…it was great talking with people that normally I’m not often around outside the context of derby bouts. Joking, laughing, chilling and screaming for people to paddle so we didn’t hit rocks. It was awesome. I loved it. Even in the act of floating on my own and inhaling some river water…I felt cared for because my “sister from another mister” came and found me to make sure I wasn’t dead. She led me back to some of the others and after what seemed like forever, our little group was rejoined and saved by the kindness of a couple who trucked us out of the middle of nowhere…a place that was beautiful but reminded me of Children of the Corn. I was in significant pain but I wouldn’t have wanted to be with any other people than Jude, Mike, Nikki and Fuzz.

Now I pose this question…you see a bunch of strangers on your property looking like drowned rats…do you turn them away because you are in the middle of your holiday party or help them? Well, Jim and Paula of Paula’s Wine Knot Beer and Wine Bar took time out of their days events and helped us in a very desperate time. We had nothing but our sincere thanks to offer them.

So thank you so much for doing something so good for 5 drowned rats who thought they could handle the river. With everything that happened, I would still do it over again.