Today I Thanked God

Traffic was horrible today on the way back to Marysville from New Westminster, BC...still riding the high from spending time with people who love and support me from both here and abroad. Catching up with old friends and reconnecting with my camera settings for derby. The smog was heavy from the local wild fires in BC but the air cleared somewhere around Bellingham. It took a while to get there though, the wait time at the border was over an hour and once I got to the border agent, he looked exhausted and didn't even bother checking my ID, just the usual questions..."where do you live and why did you come to Canada?" I've never had to wait that long to cross the border but things work out for reasons we don't always understand in the moment.

Which brings me back to Bellingham, traffic quickly came to a halt from a rather fast speed, I was paying attention and back far enough to not have any issues with rear ending the car in front of me, but as is my habit since being involved in a wicked traffic collision in 1999, I always watch the driver behind me to make sure they are paying attention and slowing down. In an instant I try to flash my brake lights and/or look for a quick escape route should they not slow/stop.

So here's how it played out...I'm in the left lane, traffic goes from around 65 MPH to about 35 MPH in the blink of an eye. Then speeds up a little and then within about 200 feet suddenly stops. I'm stopped and I look in the rear view mirror to make sure the driver behind me was slowing and stopping as well. She stops quickly, I have room to move up a little and push on the gas just to get a little jump and as I move just a few inches forward I see her in the rear mirror get smashed from behind, slamming her vehicle forward...I see her head fly forward, then whip back and she grabs her head and tries to figure out what happened because she didn't register that she got hit from behind. In the blink of an eye, the extra inches that I had moved forward kept me from harm....whoever hit her from behind, smashed into her for a second time...likely because someone behind them weren't paying attention and so they jolted forward resulting in her getting smashed twice. I saw it all unfold, I saw the debris fly off the cars, I saw her car get slightly lifted in the air and twisted slightly off center, I saw her hair fly around, her hands grab her head...I can still see it all.

I drove about 50 feet further to where I could pull over out of traffic, smacked the hazard button, jumped out of the car and ran to her...she was just trying to open her car door and was unbuckling her seat belt. She looked dazed and confused but when I asked her if she was okay..."yeah I think I'm okay." I told her I was calling 911 for her and at that moment a younger looking guy came up to the car, likely the one who just rammed into her and he asked if she was okay...I turned to run back to my car to get my phone and had just dialed 911 when the guy approached me saying, "you don't need to call 911, we are just going to exchange insurance information, there's not really any damage and she's okay so you don't need to call." As if timing couldn't be any more perfect, when the dispatcher answered the phone, I saw flashing lights pulling up behind the trail of smashed cars...the dispatcher asked her questions, asked if EMS needed to come out for injuries, I advised that she said she was okay, but she's going to have bad whiplash because she basically got hit twice...and I've been there and I know that while she may not feel it now...she will. The dispatcher thanked me and I went back to check on the woman who was at this time approaching my car. We met halfway and she started to cry, "I don't understand what just happened, did I hit you? Are you okay? I'm so sorry."

I placed my hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes which were very hazy and confused and told her that I called 911 regardless of what the other guy said. I advised her that she was hit twice, and that while she may not hurt right now, she will. In fact she was already getting the seat belt bruise around her neck. She was sobbing, I did my best to comfort her which ultimately was me just speaking slowly and clearly...I told her she likely wouldn't remember a lot of what is happening right now so she needs to talk with the officer and/or paramedics and follow those orders. Write things down because she won't remember. She thanked me over and over again and kept apologizing, even though I told her that she didn't hit me. I looked her in the eyes and said, see a doctor, have someone with you and try to remain calm. She asked "how did I not hit you...you were just inches in front of me?"

I don't know, but that brief moment of me pulling forward just a few inches saved me from what ended up being a 3 car pile up. She missed me by just a mere inch or two.

As I drove away, my brain started processing what I had just been involved in and my skin gripped me with goose bumps, I could see everything so clear, almost in slow motion. I had to regulate my breathing and then I broke down into tears.

Thank you God. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for my angels or whoever you have placed in charge of me. Thank you God for keeping me safe. Thank you God for the chance to help someone else who was in clear need. Thank you God for hearing my prayers of safe travels to and from my destinations. I realize it wouldn't have killed me, but I've been in the pain of whiplash...the horrible piercing pain in your head like someone is stabbing you with ice picks and the never ending vertigo. Thank you God for keeping me from experiencing that again.

Side note: It was about this time last year that I wanted to die, tried to die. Wished to die. The pain and drama in my derby life, the bullying and the lies spread about me...I wanted it to all be over. Clearly my attempts and desires of the time failed...and I find it ironic that today I thanked God for keeping me alive.