From statistics to derby...

I was talking to mom tonight about roller derby, about the really cool people I have met and made contacts with all of which don't seem to care about my size, how I look or what I do. These derby folk are unlike anything I have ever known...like an entire new form of civilization. I have never felt so encouraged, so supported and accepted than I do now with these people who I really only share one thing with. Roller derby. Yes, they don't actually know me but I make no pretense as to who I am, how much I weigh, how unhealthy and unfit I am. They just don't seem to care. It's amazing and honestly, words fail me when I try to share my feelings about them all. People from Arizona, California, Oregon...even Australia.

Mom said that she's really happy that there is something that I have found that brings me joy and happiness, where people accept me for me and encourage me to be healthy, active and strong. Empowered. This was the first time she really said something positive about my desire/obsession to become derby ready. I told her that I'm trying to eat better, smaller portions and work out...and while she doesn't feel the need to do those things, she does finally agree that we should do something about our weight and health.

She also said that I needed to stop being so down on myself, "deb this is no different than when you were taking statistics...you would read the syllabus and call me saying that you couldn't do this class and you wouldn't make it through it." She always told me on the phone that it was like eating an elephant, one spoonful at a time. And so here she is yet again telling me to slow down, don't look at the back of the book that shows you where you will be, just go chapter by chapter and in the end you will make it.

I love my mom, I hate statistics and I'm starting to be consumed by roller derby. I think my life will be divided by pre and post derby. I'm not saying that derby is as big a deal as Christ being born but for me, it's huge. Everyone says I can do this...I just wish I had someone to walk this journey with me, to help me eat better, to push me to do one more exercise, to make sure I'm doing this right. Either way, I've started my journey and I am happy to have roller derby friends to tag along.