Now what...

Last Saturday I observed an open practice session for new skaters at Potential Fresh Meat, the roller derby teaching grounds from stops and slides to tryouts for Rat City, Jet City and the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds Rollergirls. While no one there said a word to me, I was there after all to just observe what a practice is like...well, one girl said hi mostly from necessity as we were both initially lost on which bay door to go into. It was great getting to see and hear instruction from derby girls to derby girls. While I did not participate, I did get to learn about T-stops, Plow stops, single knee slides, the side butt slide to a stop and this cool thing where you slide on one knee and then you rotate 180 degrees. I don't do the stops justice by my words, but they were cool. They looked easy to grasp but I imagine it is hard to throw your cautionary thoughts out the window and trust your gear to protect you. Actually I don't imagine, I'm pretty damn sure.

After PFM I headed to Wallingford to get geared up at Fast Girl Skates, a store locally owned and operated by roller derby girls. It was a sobering experience...walking into a store and letting the staff pretty much dictate every aspect of my shopping. Yes, I was able to pick between certain brands based on comfort but I had no idea what I was doing, but in the end I walked out with my Rebel skates, Triple 8 helmet, wrist, elbow and knee pads, a mouth guard, an all in one tool to change the truck/stopper/wheels and several Blood and Thunder/fiveonfive magazines. Yeah it was a lot of money, but I was prepared for what I spent, actually I thought I would spend more but I am happy with my goodies.

I then headed to Glazer's Photography to rent a special lens for the Rat City vs. Rose City bout that would be taking place in a few hours, all in the hopes I could get better stop motion pictures of the bouts. I didn't have anything else planned so I headed to Key Arena to be the first in line to get in. I began reading my Down and Derby book while waiting and then got to meet Anya Heels' husband in line...he is very nice. While I'm not big on guys it was sweet seeing his face light up when someone mentioned his wife. Kind of like that middle school boy crush giddy grin thing. While I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Anya herself, it was cool getting to meet her husband.

I am constantly amazed at the people I meet in derby, the vast majority are from what seems like a different planet. Those I have met or befriended on facebook don't care what I do as a profession, they don't care how much I make, they don't care that I'm not pretty, they don't care that I'm a fattie, they don't care that I'm gay, they don't care that I don't know how to skate...BUT they really seem to care about...well, just me. They tell me that I can learn to skate, they tell me that they will help me, they provide guidance and acceptance on a level I am not accustomed to. And frankly it scares the shit out of me...the derby world is one I don't understand and can not readily relate to. Granted they don't actually know me, but I don't hide who I am in my blog posts, my photos or my facebook entries. I don't hide that I have a horrible self image, I don't hide that I think very little of myself...and that too scares the shit out of me. What happens if when they finally meet me, they realize that I really am who I think I am? Blah.

The Rat vs Rose bouts were amazing...Grave Danger when into sudden death overtime, there were major spills, great scoring jams and lots of hard hitting. Being track side is almost unreal. The action is so close and it is so loud when almost 7000 fans are screaming for their teams. Half way through the night I found myself sitting between a Socket Wench and several Throttle Rockets...no sport on Earth can give you this. It's truly electric.

I have never received so much happiness from a group of people in my life...keep in mind my religion is less than accepting of who I am so my frame of reference is slightly skewed. But the world I live in, doesn't value fatties either so maybe I know more than I think on the topic of exclusion. All I know is how I feel...and I feel supported, accepted, cared for, encouraged and inspired by this sport. This may sound trite, but roller derby has given me something to celebrate, something to cherish...something to live for.

I continue to celebrate, acknowledge and praise this sport...its players and morals. It's almost its own religion. You inhale its sweet intoxication and it takes you over. I am so grateful for the support and acceptance of Carmen Getsome, Scott Lamb, Gretchen Lehman, Eric Skate Tool, Ajah Yancey, Pandora Bloxx, Seditious Heart and Anya Heels. I know there are more of you out there and I hope you forgive me for omitting your names. But please know you are in my heart and thoughts and I thank God everyday for people like you...and that God has allowed me to become part of your lives.

With all that said, I'm geared up and have no excuse to not skate. So now what...