When goodbye finally feels good...

Dear Anji,

There are few people that have hurt me as deeply and painfully as you. I wish I had never known you, wished I had never kissed you, and wished to never have become girlfriends with you. Regardless of my wishes, I fell in love with who I thought you were. I was wrong, and that is on me. I cannot go back and change things, I cannot wish this all away...so I have survived what I thought would be the death of me (you lying, breaking promises and cheating) and found myself better for it. I have gone through a range of feelings and emotions when thinking of you, us and the life I thought we were going to lead. I have never felt so much rage at someone like I have with you...for taking away my future, my best friend and your son. But I have realized that you are no longer the you that I fell in love with. I also realize that your son was never mine to have or share. While I miss him every day, I know that after all is said and done...I must let him go as well...for my own sanity. You let me down, you treated me like I never mattered to you at all. The pain you inflicted...mere words could never describe. While I have not reached the point that I can forgive you, I have reached the point where I can let go. I can see that I am happier without you and your endless issues. I can feel myself slowly coming back to life and I'm ready to live again. The Anji I once loved, is gone...and I wouldn't change that even if I could. I am stronger now, and finding my way through the darkness and haze that has engulfed my life for the last 5 months. It feels good to open my eyes and not see you or the damage you left behind. So I say goodbye to you, who ever you are now. I have no wishes for you, and I look forward to the time that your memory only brings about indifference on my part. With time perhaps my feelings will change, but I feel no urgency regarding the matter...I'm okay now, I'm happy. So, I guess that's it. Bye.