Unstoppable

Unstoppable

(more unsolicited thoughts from my brain)

For anyone that knows me, I’m a very passionate and empathetic human with a desire to save the world one person at a time. This endeavor has been both problematic and exhilarating but more than anything it has, without a doubt humbled me to the point I have on numerous occasions been brought to my knees. I currently work two jobs, the first is working with the chronically mental ill population, the second has me working with those affected by substance addiction. Perhaps at some point I will list all the similarities between these populations but for now, let’s just focus on the latter group. My duties with this particular population are varied but with regard to this post, I will be strictly speaking about the group process and dynamics, of course no personal information can be shared so I’ll do my best to keep the story gap free. Apologies ahead of time if I falter.

I tend to be one of those therapists that have a couple of topics in mind for the group to discuss, but for the most part I let the group mostly steer itself. Sometimes the topic is borne from the political climate, health concerns, funding questions etc. The purpose for this is to allow the freedom for the day to day actions to have a place to go if need be, I mean who am I to force them into a box labeled ‘A’ if what they really need is to talk about the box labeled ‘X’...yeah, I don’t roll that way. The goal after all is to meet them where they are at, not make them meet me, if that makes any sense.

Last week I gave them a simple homework assignment to ‘do something nice for someone else without the expectation of getting anything in return’ and while I was prepared for minimal examples I was yet again humbled when the group took off like a rocket with ideas, examples and experiences that even now, leaves me somewhat speechless. One person bought lunch for a stranger that was hungry, another person stopped on the street to talk to a homeless man, yet another group member opened a business door for someone who was struggling and even one who usually looks down while walking around, decided to smile at whoever passed by them. I was stunned, stunned I tell you. Not because they actually did the assignment but because after they shared what they did, they used practical application to switch gears from focusing on themselves to what effect that could have if the moment of kindness spread beyond them. Without much direction, they steered the discussion to what boils down to as the basic tenant of creating change. 

It’s simple really in theory but for some reason in application people seem to struggle. So let me break it down for you because this is the fun part. Did you know that in the 24 hour day, there are 86,400 seconds? Yeah, neither did I. Fun fact, it takes less than 4 seconds to smile at someone. Oh, here’s another fun fact, it takes less than 7 seconds to open a door for someone. I know right!? Okay, here’s one more just for funzies...it takes 2.5 seconds to text ‘hi’ to someone. I know, I know you’re asking yourself what the point of all this seconds talk is...well, the group decided that if they could put just a tiny fraction of time into doing something nice for someone...as compared to how long they spent in active addictive behavior they could make the time to make someone else happy...thought of...cared for...worthy...seen.

Okay here’s where the practical application comes into play, ya ready? They decided that “doing something nice for someone was like flicking one domino and watching the rest all fall down.” They realized that just one momentary action could change the trajectory of each and every other domino and that despite not being involved in the falling of the last domino, the initial catalyst was their choice to make action on the first domino. They decided that if one kind or compassionate act could change the direction of someone’s day, that maybe that single act would spread. While we may never know what that one single act culminated in, the possibilities are endless and the positivity shared exponential. After all it only takes one tiny pebble thrown in a lake to have ripples that reach every square inch of the shore. 

Without realizing it, the group started to understand the bigger picture on how to create positive change in the world. One member said, “so wait, I don’t have to be writing laws or be in political office to make changes in this country? I can work on myself and do good things for those around me, whether I know them or not and still do good?” I sat in stunned silence before another group member chimed in saying, “duh. How do you think things get going? One person starts, then someone else joins and pretty soon it snowballs and BAM, change.” So yeah, I guess it really is that simple. Makes you wonder why we don’t band together more often in an effort to make this place we call home, better...

Okay, enough rambling. I guess the takeaway here is that we are so much more than the sum of our parts. Imagine what we could do, if we could focus our energy in a common direction, for a common cause...imagine what it would be like if we could treat each and every person we meet like they matter. Like they are heard. Like they are loved. I know we all prize our individuality, but as a species we are made to be social. We have lost our way as a communal species, we have forgotten to ‘love one another’ and in doing so, we have left our fellow brothers and sisters behind. Not necessarily on purpose or by design, but because we’re in a hurry or consumed by our own internal thoughts, battles and demons. If we share the load, distribute the burden, and work as a team it wouldn’t be so hard to go from ‘A’ to ‘B’. 

The group came to the conclusion that starting small, with whatever it is, big things could happen. So to anyone out there reading this, I know right now it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and alone, but if you bring your focus closer to home you’ll find your vision gets clearer.

If we could just start with ourselves, eventually we would simply be UNSTOPPABLE.