From flames to ashes...

This week has been full of sadness and possibility, I am still suffering from the blindsided loss of my girlfriend but this week the tears have slowed, and for the most part have been absent. I think of her often, and her adorable little boy...but I don't break down into hysterics anymore, so I consider that a step in the right direction. She broke me, I came crashing to the earth in a ball of flames...but just as with a Phoenix I think I am starting my first steps in rising from the ashes. I am sad for my loss, forever changed...but anxious to see what form I rise in and how much stronger I will be when the sting, lies and pain no longer remain. I think I am starting to realize that I am at a crucial space in time, the proverbial Y in the road if you will...which road I take depends on me, each road marked with its own pitfalls and fields of daisies. Each waiting for me to show myself, to find myself, to embrace what God has in store for me. There will undoubtedly be sadness, pain, sorrow, but just maybe...peace, comfort and love.
Since starting this blog, family members have come forward offering love and support, family members that I didn't even realize remembered me let alone cared for me, a benefit in this dark time. I doubt I will ever feel what it truly feels like to have a family around me that loves and supports me...but for now, there is more than I originally thought. And I think that is a good place to start. After all, everything starts with an initial step...mine, just so happened to start by the spark of flame that burned me to ashes...